Wow, it’s been awhile since I have written on my blog. I’m hoping I can start posting on a more regular basis and share a little more about the crazy journey of fostering that I kinda skipped over, but today I’m going to talk about what’s going on now.
Through fostering I’ve learned many things I never thought I would learn about… things they don’t teach you in training classes. I’ve learned about drugs, how they affect people, what to look for if you think someone is using, statistics, what kind of paraphernalia is used for different types of drugs. I’ve learned what it means to 5150, what rehab looks like, and countless things about court… defacto parents, contesting, continuing, appealing, a .22 hearing, a .26 hearing. I’ve learned about guardianship and how the process works through probate court. I’ve checked the who’s in jail (yep that’s a thing) website more times than I want to admit and even checked the coroner’s website a few times.
This coming week I’m heading into unknown territory… a .26 hearing. It is to determine if parental rights should be terminated. If they are, the adoption process really begins. The chances of parental rights being terminated on a first attempt in the county my little one is from seems to be a long shot, but it definitely has my stomach in knots. The idea of this little girl forever being in my home is exciting, yet devastating. It is exciting because for her, it’s what she wants at this point and to be able to tell her she now can feel secure in her home that she has had for the past two years would be amazing. It’s devastating because, although her parents might not be able to take care of her and provide a stable home, it does not mean they don’t love and care about her (and she loves them). The judge could also decide to offer the parent/s services again which is a real possibility in this case, and to be honest, that scares the crap out of me. The idea of her leaving at this point would be… I can’t even go there. I will be counting down the days until court and praying the judge and attorneys see what is truly in the best interest of the child, because really, that’s what this is supposed to be about. I look forward to being so stressed about this that I feel nauseous all week and will probably lose a few pounds (perk of foster care haha).
I’ve learned to trust God through this process but I’ve also learned that trusting in Him doesn’t mean it will be easy. There have been many times I have yelled at God and asked Him why He’s letting his children suffer but then I remember this is a fallen world filled with sin so crappy things are going to happen. He can’t always make everything right but He can be there to comfort. I hope and pray in this case He makes everything right because I’m not ready for another hard time… and this time it involves two girls who don’t need to have any more trauma.